the power of the blog.

i can write about what ever the hell i want! muahahahahahaa! okay...yeah the power is corupting me just a tad, but i must write of my love for the movie i just watched. i am now even more in love with john cusack after watching 'say anything'. now it was a very hokey silly movie with many faults but i still loved it; it being a tad more innocent and heart felt than many other eighties love stories. the fact that it was not a movie of predictable surface emotions really made me glad that i finally watched it. and that is one benefit of being too tired, money conscious to go out every night, i'm starting to eat away at my giant list of movies that i need to see.

suburbs cross the ocean.

so i just read an old blog in which i was complaining about american suburbs, immediately the description of the overly pre-packaged world back there in american made me cringe as i realized that i was also describing japan. well at least where much of japan is attempting to go. the overly bright artificial super markets, the clueless people buying useless food (not quite as bad in japan), and the pointless use of technology to make our lives a little less 'boring'. now much of these things are really invasions into japan. they did not originate here and hopefully there is a chance that they will not last here, but i highly doubt it. japan is going the way of the american suburb and it would take much to stop it. what is even more frightening is that i am sure that this is true the world over. a simple life where you are aware of where your food comes from, you know your neighbor's names and you can have a moment of peace to think about things--without the media tormenting you with useless information--is becoming harder and harder to find. my only hope can be that this trend is only that, a trend. and that here in japan it will fall by the wayside and the japanese people will hold on to their kind and generous ways, and even their violent heritage, just because it's theirs. i hope that as i get to travel outside the cities i can enjoy more of japan for being japan, not an imitation of america.

visiting nearby attractions.

so this sunday kate, kazuya and i headed out to miyajima on a rainy wet day that made me feel like i was home. it was interesting going to a site that is a pretty big deal in japan, when it's just across the inland sea from my 'hometown'. kate came in to visit with some outta town friends, that fell through. sandi was supposed to join us but the bus ride the night before, post molly malone's, was too much for her. so just the three of us, kate and i happily joined by my new friend kazuya, went out and enjoyed the day. there were many photos taken and many other tourists surrounding us. now what is very shocking about miyajima is the deer. everyone tells you about the deer, and i had even seen them before, but until spending a day there you don't really understand the plight of these sad deer. they are very small and survive on the scraps of the thousands of tourists. even more frightening is the fact that people pet the deer and they don't seem upset by this. beyond this depressing aspect, the island was very beautiful and you could feel the age of the shrines and the famous tori. we also partook in local cuisine and some good old kirin beer; kate and i of course eating too much, cause that's what we do.

a good day.

basically it was a fiasco.

so the current fiasco in my life has been that the heater function on my aircon has not been working. this is a problem as it has been really cold in hiroshima as of late--actually i think it's been cold all over japan. so at first i just took it. i was going to ask the mormon girls next time they came over (seino having been in japan longer than me and speaks way better japanese) or ask my supervisor to call someone for me. but i decided to offer an olive branch and ask my new overly talkative neighbor for help. this turned into one stressful night of her running up and downstairs calling people and getting me new batteries, writing me a note to give to the realtor (who handles all problems for the small building); to be followed by a stressful day of unanswered phone calls (my unanswering because i was at work, plus i didn't want to deal with a long run of japanese that i would have to say wakarimasen to), then she (my neighbor) of course did the calling for me to my realtor and then the realtor called the repair shop and the day ended in the realtor calling my school to say that i should go straight to her next time--i get the impression that my neighbor is a bit of a nusence. basically it was a fiasco. i didn't know what was going on but i was incredibly appreciative when dogishi sensei translated for me, first with the realtor and then with my neighbor. and finally i wanted to hug fujishiro sensei as he made the final arrangements with the realtor and then the repair company for them to come fix my aircon. so here i sit under my electric blanket, watching three men install a NEW aircon, because it is too expensive to just fix the old one. what is even more amazing than the fact that they are here on a saturday and the the appointment was made the day before is that my landlady is paying for all of this. i am the luckiest JET. and the cute japanese thing was that one of the men noticed my dust bunnies and actually pulled out my vacuum and vacuumed them up for me. embarrassing, and yet sweet. i love japan.

preemptive thanksgiving pt. duo

last year i had an amzing premptive thanksgiving with keoki, scott and elena. we made turkey, cranbessy sauce, and brownies (which half of which went into elena and i raw). it was a beautiful night.



this year i was invited to the mormon girls' 'enkaiwa' night, which is the night they teach english to the community (maybe church members? i don't know). it was the cooking night and this month it was a thanksgiving dinner. now the only time i've been to a normal thanksgiving in recent years has been the half of the nights that i went to ty's (my ex's)--my family''s thanksgiving has gone a little grommet, which is just fine by me. so this was a very traditional thanksgiving for me, quite impressive considering it was in japan and half the people were eating with chopsticks. we had two ten pound turkeys, which were carved by elder montgomery--my substitute grandfather for the evening--, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes (with disney marshmallows filled with custard flavoring), stuffing, and some sort of green bean white onion, mushroom soup concoction. it was pretty awesome. and it was really great to spend the night with really nice people who were excited about speaking english (or willing to let me try my crappy japanese). i got to hang out with sister montgomery--the grandmother half of the montgomery's--and chat about being in japan, the odd things at the grocery store, why the society is the way it is, and then mock her husband for being such a clueless man. it all made me feel a little more at home. and of course i got to catch up with sister seino and sister laeuanne (monnet's replacement from new zealand), the two girls who come and talk about mormonism to me. it was nice to see them in a different, more casual context. basically a good night of community.

i'm on my way up.

so i've been rather down as of late. i had an amazing time in korea, and a pretty awesome time in tokyo before that (i'm still working on the blogs for those), but things from home are popping up in my head and i'm missing stuff. shopping for christmas presents in korea probably didn't help as i realized i would have to attach notes to everything if i wanted anyone to get what their gift was and why i thought it was cool, and even worse that i wouldn't be there to see them open them. then i realized that i wouldn't be there for my family's christmas for the first time ever and thinking about all the traditions i'm going to miss (such as christmas morning doughnuts, the circle of presents with my family and my bro and i always trying to make it even) it just makes me really sad. and then i realized that i wouldn't be seeing tyler's family (or tyler) at christmas (or thanksgiving) probably ever again, which has been my routine for the past four years, which just gets me all misty eyed. but really i AM feeling better. being able to have a random hour and a half conversation with elena just brings everything a little closer and makes it not so hard. sometimes it's just tempting to cut off everyone from home because then i wouldn't be thinking about pdx or worrying about what's going on there, but that just seems silly when those are the people that i love. so i just have to use my will power to separate my pdx life and desires from what i'm doing now without actually cutting everything out. but i feel like i can do this, hence the feeling better. reminding myself to take it a day at a time is what i have to do--which i have never been able to do in my life, but i will do now. life goes on and i only have a limited amount of time in japan so i have to milk it for all it's worth. and i'm on my way to doing just that.

the little things.

at my juntendo there is a section of 498yen movies. they are all old american flicks, most of them don't look that good, but yesterday i picked up 'charade' hoping it was something that i wanted to see. after putting it in, first there was the excitement because the movie actually played in my dvd player that is set up for american dvds. second there was the pure glee at discovering this was the movie that i have remembered from childhood, that i've been to looking to see again for a very long time. i don't know when i even saw it last, i just know it. i just love it. so tonight was a special night of eating too much lotte ghana milk chocolate and watching 'charade' and realizing that this movie may have effected more than i knew. the main character is a young spunky, horny american living in paris. she falls for a salt 'n pepper carry grant and eats too much. if you know me at all, you know this is me. for once i felt like identifying with the female character in an older film, and just ignored the moments of girlyness that sprouted in audrey hepburn's character. i knew there was a reason i love movies from that era.

first neighbor encounter.

so damn exciting! so i walked up my stairs to my third floor apartment to find a bag of food with a note attached. confusion was my response. no one i know knows i live here besides the fact that it was clearly from a japanese person. so i took the food and said sweet! i love homemade japanese food. so i head in, do my normal routine of stripping and pj-ing and there's a knock. someone is at my door...i quickly redress and answer the door. a very sweet looking middle aged japanese woman stands there. she begins speaking very quickly with words i do not know. she pushes into my genkan, keeps speaking confusing japanese, then asks to look at the photos on my fridge, she takes of her shoes and steps in, handing me her keys and coin purse for some reason. ba-i don't know why. she then takes a self guided tour of my apartment, even looking into my bathroom (my place is kinda trashed so this is awkward for me). then she realizes i can't read the note she wrote and begins to explain it to me, in fast japanese. i have no idea what is going on but she is so kind and so excited this all makes me so happy. i say good bye and all the polite things i can think of in japanese and then settle into my internet. just as i get started there is another knock on my door. she's there again! i think what she was saying that because we are friends now she'll show me her apartment (originally i thought she had a friend downstairs that she wanted me to meet). i follow down and am amazed by her wonderfully warm and friendly looking apartment. she shows me all her plants and then gives me fruit! incredibly generous. i head back up without her and again grinningly sit down and turn on my music--another knock. she has brought me a delicious rice ball. oh my god i love japan.

halloween.

oct. 30, 2006



halloween in japan is like many other gaijin holidays, it is a silly tradition that means a differnt shade of cute stuff in the stores. so for my halloween celebration i joined, what felt like, all the gaijin in hiroshima at chinatown--a bar, danceclub in the entertainment district. we danced the night away, as last trains were at midnight and first at 6am, and most of us got really drunk.

now before actually heading to the bar, us JETs and JET's friends met at alice garden--the courtyard in the main shopping area of hiroshima where all the teenagers like to hang out in CRAZY outfits. this time it was us in crazy outfits, for example all four ninja turtles and splinter, a braveheart mel gibson, a deamon via face paint by carolina, the organs of the human body and me, as the costume that only one person got without explination: evy hamond from 'v for vendetta'. we headed over to the club, i bonded with our deamon, kazuya, who become the will to my grace. i danced with kazuya, some JETs, a couple random guys, no girls :( , with some NCMO, and a decent amount of blood bled on me--buy the second drunk guy that i danced with. it was a good time, and i only babysat drunk people a little at a time.

in the end carolina, kazuya, brian and i killed time at a 24hr resturant after the club (around 3:30am). brian left, then kazuya, then carolina and headed to the astram station around 5am. finally the train arrived at six and we headed home--of course, not before i broke my earing that i can't replace in japan, goddamnit. sunday for me was a day spent entirely in bed watching movies and playing with my interent till the point that my laptop overheated. good times.

the devil wears prada.

oct. 29, 2006



originally when i saw the posters for this film i scoffed, but who wouldn't? a film about fashion and coming of age sounds like the classic cinderella story that we have all seen one too many times. the fact that meryl streep was in it slightly swayed my opinion, and then the teenage girl in me said i had to see it because anne hathaway also stared in this chick flick. and that was what i expected, the chick flick that i would come away from annoyed by the presumption that women cannot be strong and must change for their men. but, as you may have seen coming, this was not the case. now around every plot twist, every new scene, especially after the transformation montage, i waited for the media system to tell me that i should not have a career that i will make sacrifices for, that i should not be able to ask for my significant other to adjust to my life. now it was also not the case that this was a film that claimed that women should have more power than men, and that men are the scum of the earth. and don't get me wrong that can be a really fun flick to watch, but rather unrealistic under the actual definition of feminism. in 'the devil wears prada' our main character does adjust into the life of fashion and she makes decisions that go against her principles, as well as going against her relationship with her live in boyfriend, but her friends call her on the fact that she is changing as a person and not the she is abandoning her love life. there is an understanding that this is her career, and they trust her when she says that it will take her to where she wants to be. this is all very complex and is not black and white by any definition. that is what impressed me. it was not a film of easy, obvious answers. in the end the main character made the choice that we wanted her to make but for moral reasons, not because of some boy or some obligation that she felt the need to fulfill as a woman. there was even the line that directly states that we only call powerful women bitches, not powerful men; powerful men are just impressive. and in the very end there is a moment when the whole movie could have been a waste with a reunion that could have asked hathaway's character to make career sacrifices for a lover, but it left it open to negotiation. this film truly spoke to the woman in me that wants to be strong and in control of her life and feelings, one of the very few films that has done so; and i'm sure if i go in with my nit picking comb i would fine things that bug me, but after one viewing i would say this would be a movie i would show to young women and say 'pay attention! find inspiration!' and of course 'don't get distracted by the pretty clothes!'


(what is really great about this movie watching experience, i was watching something else and said to myself, 'oh yeah i kinda wanted to see 'the devil wears prada'', i then downloaded it in two hours and watched it the same night. technology sure can be friendly, when it wants to be. I HAVE INTERNET!!!)

internet tastes metallic.

oct. 24, 2006

i am so close to having internet i think i am going insane. i am taking a half day of nenkyu (paid leave) on friday to wait for the NTT guy to come and do something--i have no idea what... and ideally my modem will be delivered the same day. ideally i will be able to call someone this friday. ideally i will be able to post photos, and even this blog, from the comfort of home. ideally i will then be able to solve the dilemma that is literally driving me insane. ideally i will breath a giant sigh of relief and be able to relax and enjoy life in japan. ideally i will not go on a murderous rampage when i, as will of course happen, do not have internet on friday and am told that it will be another week before the modem shows. ideally i will be able to regain a monochrome of concentration so my newspaper lesson will not suck this afternoon. and finally, ideally i will be able to enjoy my halloween weekend no matter what happens.

mid-term exam week: day two.

oct. 18, 2006

i think i'm going to die. either because the repetitous banging of my head on my desk kills me, or because the shear boredom that is onerwhelming me now will simply stop my heart. i am too bored to read, my limited internet access is tapped out, and i've already napped all i can nap. to think i have another day of this? thank gawd it wasn't a full five day week: my guts would be dripping off the cabinets of my office, because i would have of course explored of frustration by now.

i'm more japanese than i thought.

oct. 15, 2006

looking around me i see everyone dressing like i do. and it's not even my attempts to dress japanese that prompt me to say this. if you know my fashion sense at all, you know i like to ear clashing outfits, t-shirts with floral skirts, dresses over pants, and bright colors. so bright colors only reflects a small portion of the japanese population (or much of the osaka population), but the rest of that surrounds me everyday. i don't know if my trip to japan two years ago influenced me more than i thought or i just am in tune with japanese society, from across the ocean, but my fashion is here and it is popular. besides this i ahve noticed that the long winded answer, that i know i give, is something that is repeated here. i ask students, and teachers, 'how was your weekend' and they go in to an account of what they did, not answering, 'it was fine'. i am probably reading too much into this and simply seeking out comfortable simularities, but still, creepy. i think i'm turning japanese, i really think so....

JET is a dating service.

oct. 15, 2006

anyone who argues with the title of this blog needs to take a closer look at what goes on around them in the JET program. the program starts with over two thousand people in a hotel in tokyo--okay, sure there are pre-orientations and orientations that happen in the participants home countries, but that's not where this starts. back home we all feel safe and have our people. once in japan, we are confused, lost, surrounded by strangers. in tokyo we are all exhausted and looking for people to fill the holes that have just appeared in our hearts, our lives. quickly we make eye contact, we begin conversations, we ask 'so, where have you been placed', we exchange contact information. i'm sure a little hooking up happens, despite the exhaustion, but mostly i believe tokyo is a hunt for the bootie calls that will happen in the following year. followed by this, in my prefecture, is an annual prefectural orientation for all JETs in hiroshima. second, third and first years gather fro a three day conference in downtown hiroshima. there are hotel rooms for those outta towners and the locals spend a lot of time there, too. i feel like the second and third years only show to get a look at the new crop, to decide if there are any perspective candidates for dates. many have cell information now, many are smiling and winking at each other. by then end of the three days there is some hand-holding, and shared glances that indicated decisions have been made and people have broken off into paris. to extend the opportunities for dating there is one more orientation. here it is only the first years, but they are all trapped in a hotel for a solid week, away from downtown and outside influence. here is where we see some serious shit going down. waking up in strange beds i'm sure happened, along with drinking too much and not actually learning anything at the mandatory japanese language and culture classes. by the end of august most relationships or potential relationships, have been established. who is a possible mate or bootie call has been lined up, and those returning JETs have made claims on the fresh meat. from here we see the pairs forming, the couples appearing and the impressive quality of the 'JET dating service'.

decisions.

oct. 15, 2006

so i'm sittin' on the bus, leaving kannbe, appreciating the fact that i have a laptop (thanks mom and dad) and listening to some nifty music (thanks sandi). kate and i just had an amazing weekend of gilmore girls, a beautiful onsen and too much chocolate...and a little spaced and crepes and hot cakes. the tension in my shoulders is almost gone; and i've nearly forgotten that i have to go to the horrible doctor's tomorrow, where i have no idea what will happen. this weekend was exactly what i needed. so non-productive we didn't even get to planning our trip to south korea, that's happening in three weeks. and i just passes a sign with a photo with what looked like two boys either about to kiss, or just finishing kissing. japan is a little confusing...




my mind has been on the question of how long am i going to stay in this beautiful country that can be realy frustrating and oxymoronic. my heart says that i need to go home to portland for my family and to continue the friendships that i made and solidified during my senior year. my mind says that all of that will be there if i stay for two years and that living in japan will not happen again. this is only once in a life time. and that if i want to do the traveling that i want to do, india, nepal, vietnam, cambodia, and possibly europe, there's no way if i only stay a year...and my heart kinda agrees with this last part of travel. to see the world in a lifetime is an immense task, and i have been given the head-start of a free ticket to asia. how the hell can i not use this for all it's worth. and the more i think along these lines i the more that i know i have to stay for two years. and the more i know that i have to stay for two years the more my heart breaks for what i am now missing in portland, which is of course is ridiculous, because shit, i'm in fucking japan! a country tha many americans, many of the people i know, will never get to. any pain and sadness that i feel is just payment for this opportunity. just thinking about it now i know this to be true. but then i go on to the thoughts of, why do i think i need to punish myself to experience life? why do i think i need to punish myself to find myself? but misery breeds strength, and strength breeds a happy and fulfilling life. i know i'm on the right path, i just sucks sometimes. and i have met some amazing people here. i am creating friendships that will be important, at some level or another for the rest of my life.

it will all come down to how much i desire to be in portland in february.

peanut butter.

oct. 14, 2006

i never peanut butter was all that important. now i am in japan. now eating peanut butter straight out of the jar seems completely resonable. adding chocolate ships (that cost 268yen for a handful) makes perfect sense.

strange things are happening.

i smell trouble.

oct. 12, 2006

i see a nasty trend beginning at my base school. a couple of the teachers have decided to cancel my lesson 8 class today. i am slightly forgiving because midterm exams are next week, BUT that means i won't be meeting with these kids till novemeber--next week is tests and then i start my rounds in the 2nd year class. my predessor taught maybe one lesson a term with each class and there is no way in hell i am going to stand for that--i just hope i get a say in it...