Wednesday, October 10, 2007

tragedy.

it's just not fair. i kept putting it off, and thinking 'oh next week, tomorrow, it'll get done'. i'll burn these to discs when i get home. i'll buy an external drive. it'll be fine.

no.

it's not fine. every one of my photos since march is gone. my trips with my parents. my trip by myself, to yakushima. cambodia. spaceworld. goodbyes. my schools. culture festivals. fukuyama rose festival. tattoos. my last days in hiroshima. thailand. singapore. it's all gone. that's it. my harddrive crashed, as far as i can tell, for no reason. i don't understand. it's just disgusting. and even my film that i made in japan, gone. all i left is the crappy youtube version. i just... i'm sad. it's sad. there is no solution--besides my wonderful friends sharing their photos with me, for the times we were together. but as my friends will tell you, i was the obsessive photographer. i took silly useless photos that i thought were ingenious. no one else did. this along with my unsuccessful job search, and thereby unsuccessful house search, is making my homing coming rather anti-climatic; rather frustrating one might say. *sigh* i just have to have patience, and get over the loss of my photos, and hope that i can actually hold on to my memories (which i am terrible at). i need some good news. anyone?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

frustration.

so i wrote all these "wow! i'm back in america!" posts; then, my computer died, as i was attempting to post them. i am frustrated. i am frustrated for many other reasons: lack of job, lack of place to call my own, lack of person to call my own as i am surrounded by couples. i love my couples, but i am not one and i did have a slight desire to be one. but no. life goes on. and currently i am frustrated woman, lost without a place/job/person to call my own. *sigh*