Tuesday, September 02, 2008

making love.


i just finished watching "the diving bell and butterfly" and all i went to do is make love to a beautiful woman.

it had been sitting on my desk for nearly a month and i just hadn't gotten around to it, but i sat down and settled in. and let me say it was beautiful. a movie worthy of the big screen. the feelings of being trapped, the sympathy, the understanding, the desire, the little subtleties, everything. it was stunning.

it reminded me of being in paris and hearing french all around me, and the wonderful architecture of paris, and the art and the pompousness and clothes, and snootiness. and beauty.

the colors, the in and out of focus, the structure, the actors. beautiful. that's it. that's the word. and from there is the desire to make love, to revel in someone else's flesh. to kiss, to nuzzle, to enjoy. to touch. the sense of desire from the main character was not obsessed over, or spelled out, but it was there, palatable, and felt through the screen. and to take from that the urge to live life, to be alive, i cannot escape. yet even as i say this i know, although i have the real desire again, i am not ready. i'm still figuring things out, i'm still (to some extent) purposefully busy, and i still am enjoying my solitude and through that the time to consider, think and grow.