Monday, July 26, 2010

pause.

my life is on pause.

this seems to happen every time i'm really involved in a project. although because this project is all mine, this pause has really taken over. i don't see friends, i don't go out, i don't see the sun, i live in air conditioning (or in my sweaty unaircon-ed apartment), and i certainly don't have a good time.

perhaps this is because of my obsessive nature. or maybe it's because i'm flat broke. or maybe it's just because this is what i have to do.

Friday, July 16, 2010

inception.

there's this thing that happens when i watch a really good movie. well, not really good, more like inspiring and fucking amazing. i cry.

not big fluffy sobbing tears, but my eyes are wet and i am letting go of an emotion.

i'm not sure if this is because when the credits finally start to roll my body relaxes, the tension is released, and i can now think about what i just saw-and what i just saw made me happy beyond describable. that's probably what it's really all about. my amazement at seeing something so perfectly composed, so well directed and constructed that in watching it, i have reached bliss. i am lost in this world and i am not thinking about my own, i am not aware of my own concerns or even my own happiness, i belong to the director, to the crew, to the actors, i am just a reflection of the reflection of light on the screen.

the movies that have made me feel this way are few, "the departed", "star wars", and i'm sure there are others-but they don't spring to mind and so are therefore not as significant. but i can now add "inception" and have a new bliss and creation to enjoy.