"do you have any of your work online?" nope.

people are always asking, "do you have any of your work online?" nope.

so i've considered starting a website for myself. it would be nice to be able to send people to a place where my contact information is, as well as samples of my work. a friend of mine just created one, and it's real classy.

but this got me thinking, i probably should have a photo of myself on my website. with facebook, and all the other online social networking, access to photos of who you are is more important.

but which photo?

my friend's is simple, and has nothing really to do with his area of expertise. i like it. but i was thinking of my own picture and how i would frame it, location, wardrobe, all the basics, and realized i could not have the same type of photo.

if i were to dress formally i would either have to look dyke-y in a jacket and button up shirt or girly in a nice dress (as these are my two modes of "dress up" and i would still want to be "me"). either way i would be giving a distinct gender message that has nothing to do with what i can offer as a filmmaker.

and this is what my point is:

as a woman i cannot just take a photo of myself. women are still judged on their appearance, with only two modes: whore or prude. in other words, women = sex. this re-realization makes me cringe, it makes me want to puke and cry at the same time. gross, i know.

one could argue i am taking this too far, but think about it. women's "formal wear" is traditionally a dress. a modern dress is going to be formfitting in some way, and therefore "sexy". the choice of pants makes a different statement, possibly that's "she's gay!" (which i am fine with, but i'm not gay so...) if the pants are too "manly", or if they are "modern" then they are probably formfitting and therefore "sexy".

a friend of mine told me about a class that she was required to take in the final term of her undergraduate degree. this class was about women in the professional world: interviews, work place etiquette, etc. one of the recommendations of this class was that for an interview wear a skirt, a long conservative skirt. the reasoning was that wearing pants was too revealing. wtf? WTF?! so basically if you can see the outline of my legs or--god forbid--my ass, i am saying "come and get it!" and trying to get a job with my womanly parts? *dasfhseethingangerssdfjk* ARRGH!

why does it always come back to women having to compromise in order to appease the menfolk? why the hell can't the men just control their sexual overdrive and stop looking at my ass? i'm sure i don't even have to mention the cultures built around men being unable to control their urges, and therefore choosing to confine, trap, beat, murder and systematically oppress fifty percent of their population.

when is this going to change?