within just a few hours.

a lot has happened. elena and i are on our way to bangkok today, we were supposed to catch a train to chang mai tonight. however, things change. we forgot to double check the time, we didn't get on the right train, we didn't stay right next to the airport, we didn't leave early enough, ect. ect. ect., and we missed our flight. i of course was freaking out, incredibly cranky, and only thinking in 'end of the world' kind of terms. after two trains and a 3000yen taxi we made it to narita. some speed walking and then pacing, as the cathay pacific airlines attendent spoke on the phone for what seemed like forever, and then a *sigh*... we got a flight for 5pm to hong kong and then trasfer at 8:22 to bangkok. we won't arrive till 10 or 11 tonight, but we'll be there with enough time to train it to chang mai on the 9th. i am so easily stressed, and deal with stress so badly, i am suprised i put myself in these situations so often. throughout the past week or so i have not been able to relax as i've packed, and prepared to move to another country. until i had handed off the last two bags to dob, to stash till i'm back in hiroshima, i was not really able to breath. knowing that we were missing the flight while sitting on the train, and then in the taxi--for a good hour of travel--i was tensing up again and letting every emotion overtake me. despite all of this discomfort, i know that if i do not indure it, if i just stay in a safe place of comfort, i would never do the things i want to do or be the person i want to be. i guess that's my challenge to myself, to deal with this stress, this stress that i suck at dealing with, and see the world, have adventures and be the person that i want to be.

now if i only i could really conquor these feelings of dicomfort to the point of not having them... but then again i wouldn't be challenging myself if i wasn't my stressed out me.