either something is wrong with me or i should have listened to my first grade self.

september 15th

in one of my classes, where i'm STILL doing self-introduction lessons, a student asked me what i wanted to be be when i was small. translation: when i was little, what did i want to be when i grew up? i found this interesting because this is something i find rather comical about myself, or rather is a funny anecdote my mother likes to tell. my brother and i were readers from early in elementary school. i include my brother in this statement because i was only allowed to check out non-picture books in first and second grade because my brother, before me, was smart and could handle them(--my first memory of living in my brother's shadow during my k-12 ). so from a young age i liked to read, and i liked to write. not to brag or anything, but i've read the stuff i wrote in first grade and it's not half bad (for a first grader...). i actually have a vivid memory (well, maybe memory, it could just be a reinforced story) of saying that WHen I GRew i wanted to be a writer. this was something i really really enjoyed doing throughout elementary school, but lost sight of as i grew older. being the accommodating child that i was (and still am) along with being indecisive (yeah, i'm still that, too) i could not simply say i wanted to be a writer when i grew up. i said i wanted to be a ballerina, astronaut, dentist, writer. 'ballerina' because i took ballet and i guess i understood that this was something that should be important to me, even though i was the klutz of the class. 'astronaut' because space is cool, i made my own space control board in 2nd grade, and my big bro liked space. that and you can't dream much bigger than wanting to be an astronaut. and finally i had to include 'dentist' because my grandpa was a dentist--family loyalty runs deep in them here bones. and then there was the writer in me. looking back on this story, writer was the first thing to be dropped. oh, i think i still wanted to be a writer, but the story would go i wanted to be a 'dancing-dentist-astronaut' not a 'dancing-dentist-astronaut' who wrote about her adventures. now the point of the story is that here, on JET--in my first month--, i have started writing a lot. this is partly due to the need to stave off insanity and hold onto some of my ability to communicate correctly in english, but it is also linked to the fact that i really like writing. of course, i have been writing papers and school assignments for as long as i can remember, so not having these to keep me busy it only makes sense that i would start writing, if only out of habit. but i am enjoying writing for my own pleasure, and looking back at my college papers, i did actually enjoy writing quite a few of those. (<--freak). so perhaps i should have held onto that first grade dream of being a writer. maybe i would have been a creative writing major, maybe i would have gone to reed (as my childhood idol did), maybe i would be writing a book right now instead of blogging about my lost career, or just maybe, i don't have anyone to talk to and blather about my day's events to so i am typing profusely in a lonely-motivated attempt to pretend i'm still talking to my friends at home. yeah...it's probably that last one.