thawing.

i feel like i am the embodiment of spring. one day i feel like shit. i am dark. i am depressed. i am that day with no sun, with rain, wind, and monotone grey clouds. the summer, the sun, the light, seem forever away. being happy, being able to think beyond your annoyances, anger, is impossible; and then, wham, it's a different day. not just in the week, but in the feeling. i am that spring day when you feel the sun for the first time in what feels like forever. the birds literally chirp, or rather the cicadas sing, your thoughts are clear and you know that summer has to be tomorrow. this bouncing around is what i always forget spring is. it's not just those beautiful cool days, a little showering, spring sun; it's also those dark dreary days that you think you'll never some out of; and here, i feel this. one day i cannot wait to leave, and every moment takes an eternity--literally--that i can't make it through; and the next, like today, i remember how to think. i remember why i am here, and rejoice in it; but, no matter how hard i try, on those grey spring days i can't remember the sunny ones.